What is a Mother?

What is motherhood? Is it something that is more than just biological? Is it something that is more than just feeding and teaching until the child is eighteen and then that is it?

These are questions that I have spent many years pondering. I will propose some sort of definition: A mother is a woman who receives potential for life, who then gives life, and then, she nurtures that life. This is broad, I know. But, it is a start.

We all have images of the perfect mother. The perfect mother is lovely; she cares for the physical, intellectual, spiritual and emotional needs of her child. She attempts to make up for anything that is lacking in her child. The perfect mother is dependable; she is constant; and she loves no matter the circumstances.

Reality check. None of us have had perfect mothers, and none of us will be perfect mothers. However, I believe that a good mother is a woman who aims for that image of perfection.

In our world today, the art of femininity and the art of motherhood are lost... for the most part. However, we MUST get them back! A good mother is a vital part of society; she is a beautiful specimen, and we all need examples of her in our life! Now, it is very difficult to be good mothers with the complete lack of support most of us experience. Women were not meant to live out this beautiful role alone. In the past, a young mother was surrounded by a network of female support: aunts, sisters, their own mother and their grandmothers. Children were raised in a tight-knit community of people who loved and supported them. Today, women go through pregnancy, postpartum and the raising of children virtually on their own. Even those of us who had it better than most, have such a lack of support, female connection and enrichment. It can be a painful reality. Believe me, I know.

Here is my next question. What do mothers actually owe their children? This question may seem unconnected. Please, bear with me. I have presented the qualities that, I believe, should be found in a good mother. But, does her role as a mother come to an end? It shifts and changes, but it should not end. Is it possible to be a good mother without the constant support of your own mother? The short answer is yes, but it will be much more difficult.

Obviously, I know that a good mother shouldn't have her thirty-year-old son mooching off of her. A good mother should raise confident, independent children who are ready to battle the world. But, is there some sort of nurturing and support that a mother still must give her child? Definitely not by society's standards. In a feminist society that says nobody owes anyone anything, of course, they are not going to say that a woman owes her child anything. But, I believe she does owe her children something, and she owes them this for the rest of her life. How do I know this? Because she is the only person who can fulfill certain needs, the need to be loved and supported, especially during trials or trauma. Her voice, her comfort, her love cannot be replaced. God can heal and make up for all deficiencies, but a mother's role is meant to be lived to the end. I know there are a million different scenarios that others can come up with that disprove what I have said. But, how about accepting it for one minute? Acknowledging that women of all ages are in such a bad state, physically, emotionally etc., and are searching for fulfillment and meaning in life. Maybe a diagnosis of society's lack of motherhood is worth considering...

What is the solution?

Women need other good women in their life. Children need a secure network of people to thrive in society. There is so much truth about these two statements that can remain unsaid because it is known in our hearts. For many of us, the solution is to just try and be a good mother in the place God put us and seek out women that edify our motherhood. It is a challenge, but a challenge that our world needs women to respond to! Be a good mother. Try to support other mothers when possible. Teach the beauty and pride of femininity and motherhood to your daughters. And someday when they are raising children, they will have you.