A Letter to a New Mom

The following letter was written to a new mother in my community. I thought it was so beautiful and worth sharing! Enjoy.

Dear New Mama,

Congratulations on your new little beautiful baby. Soak up every minute of it; time goes by too fast. I wanted to write to you about eight things that I wish someone would have told me when I had my first child. I hope they edify your motherhood.

1. Mom knows best

   No one, I repeat NO ONE, will know your baby as well as you do. So listen to your instinct. No one else is there taking care of your newborn day and night. You are the one feeding them, changing them, kissing them. you know everything about them. As the mom, you can anticipate what they are going to do before they even do it. If you feel like there is something wrong with your newborn, take that seriously.Take advice from other moms, and understand that some things might work and some things might not, but above all follow your gut.

2. Nourish thyself

   You know on airplanes when they tell you to put your oxygen mask on before you help your kids? Apply the same principle to your life.  Don’t forget about your own needs. If you love to read, then keep reading. If you need a bubble bath, take one. Or if you enjoy dressing nice and doing your makeup, then take the time to do it often. Make sure you eat right, get exercise, fresh air, and spend time with your friends. Do not put yourself last. 

3. Be Patient with your baby

   Remember the baby is also new to all of this. Any time you on the verge of frustration or impatience remind yourself the baby is having to learn to eat, sleep, poop in a new world with unfamiliar sights and sounds. All babies cry its OK not to jump and react to every whimper, sometimes give them a minute to figure it out. 

4. Sleep when you can

   Mayo clinic recommends you have 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night… aaaand you will not get that initially. 

   
   

   Seriously though, the lack of sleep will seem like the end of the world. I never really understood why new-moms were so tired. They say babies sleep for like 20 hours a day for the first few weeks. So shouldn’t that give you enough time to get everything done and get some rest of your own? WRONG! Sure, babies do sleep a lot in those first few weeks. But they also wake up like every 2-3 hours, so REM is constantly being interrupted. For the first few weeks, you will seem exhausted and that feeling will seem like it’s never going to end, but it will. 

   The best advice I can give is to just power through it. It only takes a few weeks to a month or two before your baby starts sleeping for 4-5 hour chunks and then longer. 

   Oooor maybe he'll sleep through the night right away! 

   (Also! Try dream feeding your infant to get them to sleep through the night a lot faster! )

5. Ask for help

    Although many other cultures have built-in postpartum support systems, American moms are often on their own when figuring out how to keep their babies happy, houses clean, families fed, and lives humming along. Don't wait until your about to break to ask for help.

6. Avoid comparisons

   Every baby is so different, different strengths and weaknesses. Different rates of development, even within the same family 

   
   

7. If possible, plan ahead, but remember many things do not go as planned, especially the things you had your hopes set upon. But in the end, it all turns out alright and sometimes better than alright. 

8.  Everything is a phase

    If my daughter was perfect for 10 days in a row and then fussy for one, I would panic and think she was turning on me. I had to remind myself over and over again that everything was a phase.

   - Cluster feeding? Only a phase.

   - Baby sleeps for 20 minutes at a time? Only a phase.

   - Your boobs are leaking? Only a phase.

   
   

   Just when you think you cannot handle a phase, it's over. Those sweet newborn snuggles, super-soft baby skin, and how your baby fits in the crook of your arm is only a phase too. Try to enjoy the good stuff and remember that the bad stuff will pass soon enough.