#1 Rule for Raising Awesome Kiddos

How many times a day does your child ask for help to do something? How many times a day do you jump to assist your child when you think they need help? These are very, VERY important questions to know the answers to if you want to raise capable, independent children. When I first became a parent, I was often afraid of my child getting hurt, and I definitely assisted them with more things than I should have... I was a bit of a control freak, I admit. Then, I stumbled upon a wonderful saying:

 Do not do for your children what they can do for themselves.

I am not sure who first said this, or where the quote came from, but I am a huge fan! At first, it was hard for me to follow this advice, but by God's grace I learned to, and it has been so good for my children's development and education, and also for my overall stress level.

There are two areas of life that I want to highlight for following this rule.

First, I believe that following this rule begins when your child is very small. When they are just beginning to crawl about, how many times are you jumping up to adjust them or an item around them? By all means, do not let your baby get hurt. But, it is important that they learn by their actions. This ought to be guided learning, where they are in a safe environment and have you to watch over them.

If you find yourself in a situation with your baby toppling over after he does the same thing for the twentieth time, and you catch him every time, maybe it's time to lay some blankets down and let the child safely figure out the consequences of his actions. Again, never allow your child to become injured. I think this is obvious, but I will state it anyway.

Second, I think that it is very important to apply this parenting rule to situations where we want control.

Should I let my children do the dishes? Well, they might break one. Should I let my children vacuum? Well, they might not do the best job. Should I let my children mop the floor? Well, I just don't want to take the time to teach them how to do it.

Too often, I believe, our desire to control, or to have things a certain way, stands in the way of our child's development. What we as moms have to remember is that raising children is a slow process that requires much forethought, patience and diligence. Life is messy. If we learn to embrace this, then I think both our mental health and our children's development will benefit.

Also, remember that children are capable of so much more than we give them credit for, and at a younger age than we think! Next time you jump up to help your child with something, ask yourself, "Do they need help? Will they be hurt badly if I do not intervene?" If the answer is no to both questions, then sit back and watch. I bet you will be so surprised and even proud at the capability of your child.